Religion is on the decline, but Google is on the rise. Praise Google!
Five Reasons To Accept Google As Your God
1. Google Knows Where You Live.
Google totally knows you where you live. Google has a map of your country, your state, your street and yeah a picture of your house. Google knows exactly where you at.
2. Google Sees Your Searches.
Clearing the cache won't wipe Google's memory clean.
Google knows when you logon and when you log off. Google knows when you bail on a sale, when you abuse someone on the YouTubes, when you linger lovingly on Digg.com during work hours.
There is no ‘minimize’ window where Google is concerned. Google’s cookies last for 38 years at a time.
3. Google Is Cruel.
Google helped the Chinese government imprison dissidents by turning over records. That helped imprison lots of pesky bloggers who were speaking out against the government. Like a lot of Gods, Google can be cruel and capricious at times.
4. Google Will Smite Yo Ass.
If you displease Google you will be wiped from the search results forever more. Google has the power to make you dead to the world of the Internets. Just ask John Chow. Use the inferior god, Yahoo to find his site, as Google has expunged it from the record for the heinous crimes of reciprocal linking and link selling.
5. Google Is The Future
Those born today will never know what it is to live in a world without Google.Google will soon be seamlessly integrated into the skulls of every child born – for free! Google is so awesome!
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